Good evening my lovely readers,

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a people pleaser.

It comes naturally to me. I feel things deeply, and because of that, I find it really hard to say no. I want to be kind. I want to help. And more often than not, I’ve found myself saying “yes” with a smile, while inside I’m quietly saying, “No… I’m sorry, I can’t.”

I often wonder why it feels so difficult to say no. Why does it carry this fear of rejection, as if by putting ourselves first we might somehow lose our place with others? I do think it goes back to childhood—those early feelings of wanting to be accepted, to be good enough, to not disappoint.

But surely it’s okay to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t help this time,” or “That just doesn’t work for me.”

Helping people does bring me real joy. There’s something meaningful about being there for someone, and I do believe it’s a gift. But there are also times when life feels heavy, when I’m tired, when I need space. And in those moments, I should be able to say no without feeling guilty.

That’s something I’m only just learning.

It isn’t selfish to hold something back for myself. It’s necessary. I need time to think, to breathe, to create—to just be in my own head without feeling like I should be doing something for someone else.

Because guilt has a way of creeping in, and I’ve realised it’s one of the quickest ways to lose my creativity, add pressure to that, and it becomes even harder. As an artist and designer, I need to feel free. Not rushed, not weighed down—just free to be me.

And it’s taken me until now, at 60, to really start saying, “I’m sorry, I can’t,” or “No, that won’t suit me,” without that fear sitting behind it. To feel okay in my own decisions. To know my worth. To be a bit braver about who I am.

Looking back, I can see how much of my life has been shaped by trying to please my parents—trying to avoid criticism, trying not to feel rejected. There are so many moments I can think of where I didn’t speak up, where I wasn’t honest, where I didn’t say, “I’m not happy,” or simply, “No.”

But I’m learning now.

Learning that I can still be kind without always saying yes. That I can set boundaries without feeling like I’m letting people down. And that saying no doesn’t make me a bad person—it simply means I’m finally listening to myself.

Is anyone interested?

I sit here wondering if anyone is interested in reading about my daily comings and goings and what people will possibly find interesting in my life, then I remember how totally drawn I am to watching people talk about their homes, gardens, and hobbies, and suddenly I realise I am one of those people, so why not share it with you all?

Its time..

So last year I turned 60 and thought it’s time to share my life, so here I am making a start on Substack!

Let’s have a laugh along the way.

Each week im hoping to write or podcast about life’s ups and downs, discussing funny subjects and hopefully some helpful ones along the way, having some laughs as we go, and not take life too seriously. Im a passionate homemaker, as I was a stay-at-home mum, which made me learn many skills, from sewing my own soft furnishings, upholstery, decorating, and how to create a beautiful garden on a budget, which I will share with you as we go. You will also meet my lovely little Cairn terrier, who thinks he deserves a spot in the limelight! My constant companion and joy.

So why not join me?

on this new adventure…

Im an artist, homemaker, wife, and mother of 35 years, and now at the age of 60, im ready to share all my “wisdom” [hahahahaha] with you lucky people! Im hoping to connect with some lovely like-minded people to share in my joy of homemaking, gardening, crafting, artwork, and general chitchat. I love nothing more than having a good natter, as a lot of my time is spent at home now my children have flown the nest.

So if you think this is something you would like to join in, I would love to meet you. Tell me where you're from, and what you're interested in, and if you have a substack as I will bob over and follow.